Love defined.

Lately I’ve been struggling with knowing the purpose of new relationships in my life. Struggling because I have such a hard time accepting the love of others.

I felt drawn to that one quote, “you accept the love you think you deserve.” Hmm…so true.

But what about with God? His love is so crazy! It’s unfathomable. It’s constant. Unwavering. Perfect. As one song puts it, “More faithful than the rising sun.” The sun rises every day! How can something be more faithful than that?!

But if we accept the love we think we deserve, shouldn’t we look at our definition of love?

The dictionary gives three main ones:

  1. An intense affection for another person based on personal ties
  2. A strong affection for another person based on shared experiences or interests
  3. The deep tenderness, affection, and concern felt for a person with whom one has or wishes to have a relationship based on sexual attraction


So what is our definition? Many of us have or are living by that third definition. And if that is my definition, and that is the love I’m willing to accept…then how in the heck do I accept God’s? We seek relationships based off of this definition and then we ask God, why can’t You send me someone who loves me…well by using your definition then He technically is sending you someone who “loves” you.

Meanwhile, you’re missing His love because it is nowhere near your definition. It flies right on by.

So imagine if He sent you someone who is a definition of His love, would you recognize it? You say, “nah Erika, that doesn’t exist. I’ve watched every person I love abandon me either physically or emotionally.” I thought the same. But mmm. Take a second and close your eyes. Every time that happened, God was standing there. And you just kept crying out for Him to send you someone who loves you….by your definition. So it became a cycle.

Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. – Philippians 2:3

Imagine a love like that. You think woah, what happened to all that self-love talk Erika. No, it is still there. We are to love ourselves but then consider others as more important. And if you’re worried, think of it like this. While I’m busy making you more important, you do the same…holy smokes. Talk about a balance. That’s love.

So I’ll leave you with this:

What is your definition of love? What love do you accept? I challenge you to seek God’s love in those around you. And watch what happens when you open your hearts to His type of love. Because God thinks differently than that coffee cup posted above. He loves you more than coffee, and He LOVES proving it.

Don’t make the same mistake I did. I asked for a love like God’s and then didn’t prepare myself for His answer. There is nothing on this earth that can hold the same definition. Everything is changing. Even yourself. Shoot, I’m pretty sure I change at least once a day. Always improving and growing. But God…CONSTANT. In order for our human minds to comprehend that, we must create a definition of constant. We cannot base His love on any of our previous definitions…it has no rival.

We must intentionally prepare for and seek His kind of love because it will go by unnoticed otherwise. So open your eyes, your ears, your heart and soul and watch as God renews every definition you’ve ever had.

And don’t think that after one sign He’s done with you. It took me 5 signs before I even got this message. It’s always amazing what happens when we allow the dots to connect.

With love, From Her Fortress. ❤


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