Confessing Love

It doesn’t rejoice at wrongdoing, but at the truth. So I give you the truth. It isn’t rude and it doesn’t insist on it’s own way. Therefore, I can’t carry on pretending. I respectfully confess….

It bugs me how the flesh can’t let go. And maybe it’s because you were never all that bad. Truth be told I guess my heart never moved on. But I thank you. Yes, thank you. For waking a level of love I never had. For jump starting this heart.

If not for the love I felt for you I wouldn’t have been forced to redirect the immense brokenness.

I never believed something better could lie ahead. Typical. But to my surprise, there was someone.

One who could give love. Love beyond measure. One who silenced every fear. And trust me, I know you tried. But He does it better. Your words still offer light among the mundane. But His are brighter.

I was used to “earning” love. Not because you made it that way. I did. Feeling guilty and worthless if I didn’t give you affection. But this One, He loves me even when I neglect Him. Not saying it’s okay, but I’m still not perfect.

I tried worshipping you. But it only offered temporary happiness. Happiness that I later learned was artificial.

I wanted to show you how special you were to me. So I gave you all of me (or so I thought), over and over again. This new One, though, He fulfilled a promise you never could – He gave me all of Him. All while teaching me how to truly give everything, including my heart. He awoke feelings I never knew I had.

I say all of this not to boast. But to tell you of the One who could be everything I couldn’t. The One who can give you purpose and soften your heart into the One you’ve always wanted.

You never said it, but I think you get scared. And tired. Oh so tired. To the point where your soul just drags.

I wasn’t invited to stay because my embrace couldn’t calm the storm in you. I used to take offense to such a reality. But now? I offer you the solution I never could be. This One will be there for you always…with no expectations. They’ll even give you space if you want. Though after the first encounter I promise you’ll never let go.

I wasn’t “it” because it’s not my role to fill. But I find true joy in my new role as your matchmaker.

He’s the one. And I want nothing more than to share Him with you. Let Him steal your heart like I thought you did mine. But lucky you, He plays for keeps.

38 For I am convinced [and continue to be convinced—beyond any doubt] that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present and threatening, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the [unlimited] love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~ Romans 8:37-39 AMP

He’s with you no matter where you go. Halfway around the world and He’ll still be by your side as bold as a lion. He doesn’t expect you to bear the stresses of this world. Or to stand strong without ever shedding a tear. He welcomes every part you’ve hidden from everyone else. Your fears of the future. Your moments of loneliness. He understands it all without you having to try and form the words.

And His love? It’s better than life. So open your heart and receive His perfect gift.

“Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.” ~ Psalm 63:3

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As you read this I hope you feel my love. Though never stated you knew it was there. And despite our wishes, our souls are tied. Which means you aren’t easily forgotten.

But to feel the immensity of His love, it should no longer be shadowed by our poor example. I finally must give Him the one thing I’ve been holding onto…you.

With empty hands but a full heart,

From Her Fortress. ❤

 

 

 

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About E.Doty

Every day and every story holds a lesson.